I could have titled this lengthy piece of my mind ‘Hark, Now Hear, #PepperDemMinistries’ or even replaced the ‘Hear’ with ‘Here’. But I haven’t. For this battle, unlike many other life challenges, isn’t ecclesiastical. . .
Once upon a time, online prodigy and reader extraordinaire, Maria Popova, writing to the theme ‘Fighting the Cowardice of Cynicism’, sought inspiration from a former child victim of an older human male abuser turned human rights activist Maya Angelou’s ‘’there is nothing quite so tragic as a young cynic, because it means the person has gone from knowing nothing to believing nothing’’. . . but my own pitch, espoused in this epistle is stirred by Ms Popova’s equally poignant ‘’ in the decades since, cynicism has become a cultural currency as deadly as blood diamonds, as vacant of integrity and long term payoff as Enron.’’
Ladies, men and minnows, the entire futile exercise of employing a dud cultural currency of mockery and insults to make social media martyrs of the apostles of #PepperDemMinistries is because you cynical lot are a sizeable and uncouth colony of very low grade, overly pampered, human warmth deprived, breast milk denied at birth, bitter at intelligent humans (especially females) and idle cynics who are finding strength in your company of poor like-minded apologies. You are wasting your time. These females and their abetters, their agenda and ain’t leaving the scene anytime soon.
But before I dare to make your day any more memorable, this is what a typical cynic spits :
‘’ the #PDM consist 50% lesbians, 45% of girls who’s mothers were abused by their fathers or step fathers or they themselves were molested by their junkied male relative or someone worse and feel the entire male gender ought to compensate them for their scars. The remaining 5% are the sensible ones who are stuck in the same nonsense sinking ship of feminism because nobody would marry them as they are too skinny and ugly’’
Indeed some have even gone to the extent of citing the #PDM for being in contempt of savoire faire! One such distinguished arbiter, in expatiating his wisdom, further pontificates on his Facebook ‘charge sheet’ that the activists shouldn’t have employed the moniker ‘Pepper Dem Ministries’ because it does not sound ‘serious’ at all.
Guys, lets just pretend these good humans who are all over the place confusing gender equity with equality and vice versa , and wouldn’t mind your calling them feminist if you so desire, are who you think they are.
But for me, and as a father to a son, I am proud of these sinners whose initial camaraderie I am in awe of, and hope they are real life butchers, slayers if you want, of dogmas that have in their #WeAreNotHumble opinion, gone past their sell by dates.
Now lets cut the crap.
Truth is, as a self-ordained, occasionally quack sometimes professional social researcher, my inquisitiveness has gotten the better of moi and have thus decided to appreciate the latest Ghanaian online craze occupying our time, anyhow I deem fit, whilst it lasts. . . after having paid some attention to these #PepperDemMinistries marauding souls.
The terminal cynics I have fingered in earlier paragraphs, buoyed by their own sorrier distortions, especially those ever yellowing and fanged penis brandishing stains on humanity, damped in the medieval dew of chauvinism, impervious to unlearning anything and everything that contravenes their God given perch in ‘false superiority_dom , armed with years old cached social media updates of leaders of the #PDM for purposes of quasi intellectual masturbations (and especially in the wake of the Joy FM goof by #PDM on the work ethic of the Ghanaian woman) pose questions like ‘’ but what have these girls supported by a few fuck boys seen to feel this entitled”.
As for the vagina possessing neutrals and worst of the lot of spectators-at-large amongst the Ghanaian citizenry, they are waiting for shit to hit the fan before they snicker and update their social media statuses with a cool looking bible/Koran verse, ostensibly, to confirm their divine prescient minus any type of shito!
But considering the near absolute dearth of finesse employed both by proponents and opponents, for better and for worse in the fast faming #PepperDemMinistries, I hazard one must be pardoned for musings like ‘’ so what strain of pepper are these highly lettered, unrepentant, brash, well-proportioned and hell bound crusaders going to use to prepare their much maligned sky high hoisted potion aka feminism aka #FlipTheScript aka #WeAreNotHumble that MUST be served to cure Ghana’s centuries old scripture sanctioned biases and culture endorsed injustices towards her females’’.
Fellow humans with vaginas and penises or both or none, with your permission, respectfully, and for the records, and being cognisant of all the toils your barely four-week old ‘pepper wielding’ campaign has ‘accrued’ , I hail thee and sincerely wish you to break a leg. For I am a fan.
Guys, and in seeking to answer the question I posed earlier, If geographical and cyber space Ghana were a black cooking pot, and non-subscribers to #pepperDemMinistries were a whole stinking and freshly slaughtered male goat meat meant to be sautéed as the only source of protein in an ‘ouch’ tasting pepper soup, for a group of baying and hungry and Jezebelish-manicured-nikki Minajish-shaped females, what type of pepper vegetable, considering the varieties (Akweley waabi, kpakpo shito, ashawo shito,ojen mma or the almighty and nototriously hot apetuple) we are blessed with, shall be grinded to aid the occasion? My bet is on the apetuple.
Do you have any idea why I wish these beautiful and bold humans who have vaginas well? Do you even know why I am joining you guys with my twisted mite in this melee?
You think it is for so we can play together? Have you even seen them? The group and individual photos splattered on their social media pages? I mean have you taken a closer look at the Efes and Malakas and Abenas and Nana Amas and Amas and Nanas and Lydias etc’s ?
Do you not see how well-endowed they are? Intellectually I mean. . . Do you have any member of your entire village family possessing their kind of ‘bottom to top’ power and intellect? Even by a fraction? And you think they are playing? Aren’t you bothered that these humans have, and in record times, earned multiple degrees and phds from prestigious world acclaimed institutions but have a lot of time to spare reminding us all why we should sit down? Don’t you sniff their arrogance from miles away?
Of course they are just as flawed like you and I. They might even have questionable past stories that stinks like mine or not, worse, like yours!
But how dare you NOT INTERROGATE THEIR MESSAGE MINUS THEIR PERSONAL PROFILES? Do you realize that, BUT for their flooding our timelines with their narratives, we as a people were going to pay dearly – sooner rather than later – for the free tuition we are enjoying and suffering from the safe perch of our homes or wherever it is we log in to our social media space and access their brash attempts to #FlipTheScript ?
The way they string words together, interweave simple tenses to elucidate their newly found fetish, have you seen Ghanaian females above the IQ levels of Mzbel and Diamond, write with fluidity, a mixture of street and Victorian English like they do? And it is free? Haven’t you learnt anything at all?
Of course some have independently been at this behest even into international forays, but locally, this isn’t comparable to a Grace Omaboe and Maame Afia Konadu non-existent consolidated effort.
Mustn’t we laud the efforts of these very diverse and multi lettered females who have for the sake of indignities suffered by our mothers, daughters and sisters, decided to spend their time and at their cost on a free online education – with or without pepper?
Fellow citizens, I know who I am. I also know why we all – both feminist and patriarchy Dons and princesses MUST unlearn.
But the coup for me, I THINK, is, to have figured these human rights ‘butchers’ out like most haven’t.
Indeed it goes without say that some of the humans leading the assault on Africa’s parochial and illiterate misogynistic tendencies, the imagined and real, have been exposed as some self-promoting stormy petrels seeking attention and vaginas. But since when did ‘attention and vaginas become contraband products and I missed the memo?
Till we meet again, hopefully at a time that the #PDM cynics have sat down, and those who man the slaughter house have done same, and the abattoirs themselves been shut for excessive slaying, I bow with this quote by Friedrich Nietzsche ’’ And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music’’. A one line sentence that could guide us all into human gender redemption.